Twist and Shout

I realize that I haven't blogged anything in a long while and for the past few weeks - even though I've been telling myself that I should start again - I couldn't find it in me to get up and actually start typing about things it seemed I don't really care about. I just felt that there wasn't a reason to talk about them. There's nothing special about the cute dress that I'd seen two weeks ago when I went shopping. There's nothing special about the really nice guy I'd seen at the library but was too shy to strike up a conversation with. There's nothing special about a Led Zeppelin song that I fell in love with. Well that's how it seemed at the time. I never bothered about the tiny little things that we fall in love with everyday. I never bothered about how we think everything will turn out okay but 20 years in the future, our lives could be crumbling apart.

So what spurred this change?

It was, ladies and gentlemen, in fact, a fanfiction. Yes, this whole inspiring change was brought upon me through a fanfiction. 

He wished he could dream of some other memory. It used to be his favorite one. The seaside and Cas in his windbreaker, the feeling of their hands sliding over each other, the emptiness of the world. Cas’ hair touching his chin as they watched the water, his laughter when he grabbed him by the middle and picked him up, the way they’d tossed bread to the gulls and talked about flying and boats. About dreams and houses on islands. Now there was only silence, the endless void of a movie camera, the idle way Cas walked by the water, stooping to stare at crabs or watch for little fish, trapped there, in that moment. He felt so far away, and with every step Cas took the distance kept growing and he didn’t know how to make it stop. -- Twist and Shout

Many of you might be thinking "What sort of fanfiction can affect someone this much?". Well, I've copied one of my favorite passages from the fic Twist and Shout (Link is at the bottom). The one thing I love most about this fanfiction is that you learn about the hardships that two people involved in any kind of relationship (couples, best friends, family, etc) could go through. This one focuses on Dean and Castiel, who live during the Vietnam War. You have two completely different people who are drawn to each other merely by their existence. You never know exactly what it is that attracts the other in the relationship - it just does. You learn about the difficulties of having a relationship with the other (since homosexuality was heavily frowned upon in those days). Throughout the chapters, you are introduced with small moments that Dean and Cas (Castiel) spend together and at first, we think nothing of it. As you continue reading, however, we realize how much these moments had truly meant to the two. Nostalgia and a heavy sense of longing was present in both characters and while the writer was describing a fictional character's feelings, I couldn't help but start to tear up.

Just having a glimpse into how the characters felt - albeit not being real - nearly broke me. It's even worse if you are a Supernatural (the TV show) fan since Dean and Castiel are two characters on that show (granted you support Dean & Cas together). Of course, I will never understand the depth of pain that they went through in this fanfic or how deep their scars went, but I definitely understood the importance of cherishing the moments that I have the good fortune to come across - it may dwindle down to nothing as time passes.

Even though I have yet to experience everything life has to offer, I will not let opportunities pass me by just because "I don't have time". I need to take chances and learn to appreciate what I have each moment. I never know when it will be whisked away from me...

Click to read "Twist and Shout"
**Warning: Contains homosexual relationship**